Fire Miriam Datskovsky, worst sex columnist... EVER

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Some Questions and Some Answers

Why are you guys so hell-bent on getting Miriam Datskovsky fired?
Her column is an abomination.

Why are you guys such total dicks?
Good question. We're not. There comes a time in every young man and woman's life when they begin to to grow fond of their potential alma mater and cannot sit idly by while their fellow brethren are mislead by a girl with a completely unhealthy Bill-O'Reilly-esque sense of her own and others sexuality.

Call us old fashioned, but we think a sex columnist should help us to enjoy the wonderful art of love making or at least learn how to have threesomes. Miriam confounds us with poor sentence structure and misguided stereotypes.

Who are you guys? You angling for some job as the Spectator Sex Columnist?
1. Doesn’t matter who we are. Friends from school.

2. We will admit that the majority of us are guys and straight. Which, unfortunately, precludes us from being taken seriously as sex columnists. Gender equality my ass.

The site looks terrible. Don’t you know anything about web design?
Actually, yes. We were lazy. Go pre-made templates!

Are you all Red Sox fans?
Pretty much. Yes.

Why don’t you blog about other things?
You mean other "sex advisors" here on campus? Well, if we find that certain publishers of sex magazines or sex television shows are also misleading the Columbia community and public at large, they'll be held accountable. This is the NO-SEXUAL MISLEADING ZONE!

How do I become a member?
Keep your eyes peeled for the Fire Miriam Facebook Group.

I have, like, sixteen dollars that are just eating a hole in my pocket. Why can’t I buy a Fire Miriam t-shirt, or a Fire Miriam bib for my dog or whatever?
We're not actually that serious. We just like talking about sex. (And making fun of people...) But, who knows? Make sure you join that Facebook group to stay up to date on our cause!


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