Fire Miriam Datskovsky, worst sex columnist... EVER

Monday, October 30, 2006

The most false thing ever written by anyone ever

Are you kidding me?

Well, if you search on Google Blogsearch for Miriam Datskovsky, that article pops up first. Ivygate is officially the worst thing ever to happen to the internet. EVER.

Of the Ivy League bunch, Miriam Datskovsky’s "Sexplorations" is the column most reminiscent of "Sex and the City"
In that it is not funny, uninformative, and promotes awkward and embarassing sex as the norm for everyone. Oh yes, and that it is embarassing if people find out you're a fan of either.

except this gal can actually write.
You must not have read anything by her. She's the "writer" who has absolutely no idea what grammar is. I don't know anything about Sarah Jessica Parker and her fictional writing ability, but if I were her, I would sue for libel. If fictional characters had any legal standing, I bet Carrie Bradshaw would have a shot.

Part social commentary, part personal experience
.01% Social commentary, 99.99% Awkward personal experience

Miriam's musings are honest without being trite
Read the last line of any of her articles. "Trite" is the nicest thing you could say about them. "Face-numbingly annoying" might be more accurate.

She claims no sexual expertise but still tackles adventurous topics from anal sex to pornography.
Which makes her unable to accurately describe anything she talks about. It also means she attacks everything with a closed mind. I don't think you need to be an expert to talk about sex in any way, but it does help to have an open mind. If you think anal sex and porn are gross, it may bias your column just a smidge.

Her risky approach pays off in authenticity
Yes, we believe she is authentically awkward and authentically has backwards view of everything sexual.

"Hooking up with my favorite guy friend was a no-brainer-until an incredibly un-glamorous bedroom incident on the night of my 19th birthday left me lost and lonely. … Tomorrow will be exactly two years since my ill-fated fuck buddy incident. By all outsider and dating-book standards, I am still setting myself up for disaster. But I care too much about him to go back now. Logic says I should get myself out before I really get hurt. Logic is the last thing I care about."
They quote Miriam, not realizing that this must have been the only sentence that didn't have a question mark or a grammar error. I don't even know if she's going back to this guy or what. Has she been dating him for two years? What is she talking about? Look, we all go to Ivy League schools. We can all write flowery, meaningless prose that sounds nice but says nothing. Note that IvyGate obviously couldn't find something that didn't describe something awkward and embarassing.

Sex? Yes.
Nominally, yes. She does talk about sex. It is a sex column, so she has to, but she still gives the feeling she would rather be talking about somthing else

Dating/Relationships? Yes.
Yes, way more than sex.

Sexual Health? No.
Because she clearly knows nothing about anything technical/scientific/factual/anatomical (you pick).

Personal? Yes.
As if this is a good thing.

Shock factor? Yes.
False. Unless you mean how bad the writing is. Then it is true. Very, very true.

Inclusive/Non-heteronormative? Yes.
False in every way. She has gay friends. Whoop de do. She clearly writes as a straight female and everything she writes is biased as such, but with a hint of Bill O'Reilly thrown in for good measure. No one who isn't Miriam Datskovsky or like her in every way could get anything out of any of her columns.

Maybe the fact that IvyGate thinks Miriam is actually good says more about the Ivy League than about its sex columnists. Or maybe it means that people have never actually read good sex advice. I don't know. But I do know I've never been more embarassed to be a member of the Ivy League.



  • why do you care so much?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:44 AM  

  • This is the most amazing thing I've ever read! This made my day. I completely agree with everything you wrote.

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:26 AM  

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